Some of the main things I do when revising: Re-reading my draft to find the argument and make it flow better. After this, I focus in on the individual sentences that comprise my argument and make them more concise and make sure they are in a logical order.
One thing that really helps me to accomplish this task is if I read it out loud or have someone read it to me so that I can really hear how it sounds to the audience.
What I changed most in my paper so far is the paragraph ordering, the sentence ordering within those paragraphs, and finally the words I chose to use in those sentences. For a paper to be successful, it must have a good overall structure and then every smaller unit that helps build that structure must be very clearly stated.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Monday, September 16, 2013
2 possible stories for essay
A Good Man Is Hard To Find
I particularly liked this short story because of the plot and the characters, especially the grandmother and the Misfit. I found the plot to be very exciting and the way in which the story develops is well mapped out in my opinion. I really enjoyed reading it and found many possible spots for deeper analyzation and I think that this is the story I will write my final essay on.
1) "Her collars and cuffs were white organdy trimmed with lace and at her neckline she had pinned a purple spray of cloth violets containing a sachet. In case of an accident, anyone seeing her dead on the highway would know at once that she was a lady."
This quote shows what type of woman the grandmother was and that she is very concerned with her appearance. It also foreshadows what is going to happen later on...
2) "She didn't intend for the cat to be left alone in the house for three days because he would miss her too much and she was afraid he might brush against one of the gas burners and accidentaly asphyxiate himself." AND "...and she cautioned Bailey that the speed limit was fifty-five miles an hour and that the patrolmen hid themselves behind billboards and small clumps of trees and sped out after you before you had a chance to slow down."
Shows how the grandmother is a very careful lady who likes to plan out everything but in the end it does not really do her any good. Suggests that you can only prepare for so much in life and that surprises are always bound to occur. Also the fact that she said the cat would miss her too much, rather than she would miss the cat too much, says something about how confident/arrogant the grandmother is.
3) She saw the man's face twisted close to her own as if he were going to cry and she murmured, Why you're one of my babies. you're one of my children!" She reached out and touched him on the shoulder. The Misfit sprang back as if a snake had bitten him and shot her three times through the chest. Tehn he put his gun down on the ground and took off his glasses and began to clean them."
Although the grandmother keeps stressing how she believes that people used to be better, more trustworthy and genuine, this passage shows that she is just as bad as the newer generations that she has been complaining about throughout the story. After the Misfit just killed all of her family, she is still trying to make nice with him and save her own life. Even a man as bad as a Misfit is surprised by how far she is willing to go to save her few remaining years and describes her reaching out to him as a snakebite.
The Trespasser
Out of all the stories we have read thus far, The Trespasser is probably the one that has stuck the most with me. I just feel that it is very powerful and although it is short, the lasting image that the daughter has in her dream is so powerful that I keep coming back to it.
1) The trespasser has been moving along the riverbank, crouching low, and now she comes upon a wooden rowboat belonging to a neighbor. She unties the rope, climbs in, and pushes off before she realizes she has no oars. The current catches the boat, and over the next several hours, she floats downstream. Sometimes the wind catches the boat and it spins.
The word choice here is very key because "crouching low" makes the trespasser seem very animalistic and not human. The fact that she has no oars shows the type of life the trespasser lives, one without any comfort whatsoever. She goes with the flow, wherever it takes her, and the fact that she ends up at a liquor store suggests that she will continue to find herself in very dark, dangerous places not suitable for a girl her age.
2) The dream that scares her awake over and over is the dream of entering a stranger’s bedroom–only it is her room–and encountering there her own body, waiting.
This image is so powerful and eery at the same time. I still do not fully understand the meaning behind it, but it shows how much of an impact the young girl who was hiding in their house had on the daughter. I feel as though in her dream, she is being forced to experience the horrors that the trespasser has dealt with her whole life.
I particularly liked this short story because of the plot and the characters, especially the grandmother and the Misfit. I found the plot to be very exciting and the way in which the story develops is well mapped out in my opinion. I really enjoyed reading it and found many possible spots for deeper analyzation and I think that this is the story I will write my final essay on.
1) "Her collars and cuffs were white organdy trimmed with lace and at her neckline she had pinned a purple spray of cloth violets containing a sachet. In case of an accident, anyone seeing her dead on the highway would know at once that she was a lady."
This quote shows what type of woman the grandmother was and that she is very concerned with her appearance. It also foreshadows what is going to happen later on...
2) "She didn't intend for the cat to be left alone in the house for three days because he would miss her too much and she was afraid he might brush against one of the gas burners and accidentaly asphyxiate himself." AND "...and she cautioned Bailey that the speed limit was fifty-five miles an hour and that the patrolmen hid themselves behind billboards and small clumps of trees and sped out after you before you had a chance to slow down."
Shows how the grandmother is a very careful lady who likes to plan out everything but in the end it does not really do her any good. Suggests that you can only prepare for so much in life and that surprises are always bound to occur. Also the fact that she said the cat would miss her too much, rather than she would miss the cat too much, says something about how confident/arrogant the grandmother is.
3) She saw the man's face twisted close to her own as if he were going to cry and she murmured, Why you're one of my babies. you're one of my children!" She reached out and touched him on the shoulder. The Misfit sprang back as if a snake had bitten him and shot her three times through the chest. Tehn he put his gun down on the ground and took off his glasses and began to clean them."
Although the grandmother keeps stressing how she believes that people used to be better, more trustworthy and genuine, this passage shows that she is just as bad as the newer generations that she has been complaining about throughout the story. After the Misfit just killed all of her family, she is still trying to make nice with him and save her own life. Even a man as bad as a Misfit is surprised by how far she is willing to go to save her few remaining years and describes her reaching out to him as a snakebite.
The Trespasser
Out of all the stories we have read thus far, The Trespasser is probably the one that has stuck the most with me. I just feel that it is very powerful and although it is short, the lasting image that the daughter has in her dream is so powerful that I keep coming back to it.
1) The trespasser has been moving along the riverbank, crouching low, and now she comes upon a wooden rowboat belonging to a neighbor. She unties the rope, climbs in, and pushes off before she realizes she has no oars. The current catches the boat, and over the next several hours, she floats downstream. Sometimes the wind catches the boat and it spins.
The word choice here is very key because "crouching low" makes the trespasser seem very animalistic and not human. The fact that she has no oars shows the type of life the trespasser lives, one without any comfort whatsoever. She goes with the flow, wherever it takes her, and the fact that she ends up at a liquor store suggests that she will continue to find herself in very dark, dangerous places not suitable for a girl her age.
2) The dream that scares her awake over and over is the dream of entering a stranger’s bedroom–only it is her room–and encountering there her own body, waiting.
This image is so powerful and eery at the same time. I still do not fully understand the meaning behind it, but it shows how much of an impact the young girl who was hiding in their house had on the daughter. I feel as though in her dream, she is being forced to experience the horrors that the trespasser has dealt with her whole life.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Where Are You Going Where Have You Been
In this short story by Joyce Carol Oates, the main character, Connie, is a very vain teenage girl who is almost entirely consumed by her looks. She often does not listen to her parents' advice and instead goes to the mall to talk to boys. One night when she is on a date with a boy her age, a creepy older man in a gold convertible makes eye contact with her and says "I'm gonna get you". Weeks later, this same man shows up at Connie's house while her family is out. Connie gets scared by what he is telling her and does not know how to act. He eventually persuades her to leave the house with her by threatening the safety of her family, and although the story does not directly say it, the reader is meant to believe that he takes advantage of her and forces sex upon her.
1) "Her name was Connie. She was fifteen and she had a quick, nervous giggling habit of craning her neck to glance into mirrors or checking other people's faces to make sure her own was all right."
I chose this passage because it shows the kind of character Connie is, which ultimately gets her into the terrible situation in the end of the story. It is also the very first line of the story and gets the image of Connie across right away.
2) "So they went out to his car, and on the way Connie couldn't help but let her eyes wander over the windshields and faces all around her, her face gleaming with a joy that had nothing to do with Eddie or even this place; it might have been the music. She drew her shoulders up and sucked in her breath with the pure pleasure of being alive, and just at that moment she happened to glance at a face just a few feet from hers. It was a boy with shaggy black hair, in a convertible jalopy painted gold. He stared at her and then his lips widened into a grin. Connie slit her eyes at him and turned away, but she couldn't help glancing back and there he was, still watching her. He wagged a finger and laughed and said, "Gonna get you, baby," and Connie turned away again without Eddie noticing anything."
This shows how Connie's desire to be noticed by others ends up backfiring in the end. This very same man is the one who shows up at Connie's house in the end and pressures her into sex.
3)"She put out her hand against the screen. She watched herself push the door slowly open as if she were back safe somewhere in the other doorway, watching this body and this head of long hair moving out into the sunlight where Arnold Friend waited."
Similar to the end of Trespasser, Connie has an out of body experience at the end of this story. It shows how unwilling she is to go meet Arnold, and is being forced to do so. She is doing it to save her family and that is perhaps why she is watching herself do it.
1) "Her name was Connie. She was fifteen and she had a quick, nervous giggling habit of craning her neck to glance into mirrors or checking other people's faces to make sure her own was all right."
I chose this passage because it shows the kind of character Connie is, which ultimately gets her into the terrible situation in the end of the story. It is also the very first line of the story and gets the image of Connie across right away.
2) "So they went out to his car, and on the way Connie couldn't help but let her eyes wander over the windshields and faces all around her, her face gleaming with a joy that had nothing to do with Eddie or even this place; it might have been the music. She drew her shoulders up and sucked in her breath with the pure pleasure of being alive, and just at that moment she happened to glance at a face just a few feet from hers. It was a boy with shaggy black hair, in a convertible jalopy painted gold. He stared at her and then his lips widened into a grin. Connie slit her eyes at him and turned away, but she couldn't help glancing back and there he was, still watching her. He wagged a finger and laughed and said, "Gonna get you, baby," and Connie turned away again without Eddie noticing anything."
This shows how Connie's desire to be noticed by others ends up backfiring in the end. This very same man is the one who shows up at Connie's house in the end and pressures her into sex.
3)"She put out her hand against the screen. She watched herself push the door slowly open as if she were back safe somewhere in the other doorway, watching this body and this head of long hair moving out into the sunlight where Arnold Friend waited."
Similar to the end of Trespasser, Connie has an out of body experience at the end of this story. It shows how unwilling she is to go meet Arnold, and is being forced to do so. She is doing it to save her family and that is perhaps why she is watching herself do it.
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